Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Working Conversations podcast, where we talk all things leadership, business, communication, and trends in organizational life. I'm your host, Dr. Janel Anderson.

Have you ever been in a room where everyone just gets you, where you don't have to explain why you do what you do or justify your quirks or your choices or your passion? It's like a breath of fresh air. I just experienced this firsthand at a conference filled with my people as a professional speaker, a career that many kind of consider a unicorn. In the world of work, it's rare to meet others who truly understand the joys and the challenges of this unique path. And you know what? This conference was transformative. It reminded me of something vital.

Everyone needs to find their people. Now, whether you're a unicorn in your profession like I am, or you have a quirky hobby, or maybe you hold a perspective that feels, well, a little bit outside of the norm, finding your community can be an absolute game changer. Yet in today's world of increasing digital isolation and surface level connections, many of us are neglecting this need for meaningful belonging.

So in this, in this episode, we're talking about why finding your people really, really matters. Not just for your personal well being, but also for the future of work. And yes, we'll tie it back to themes from one of my most popular keynotes, Reconnecting in a Disconnected World. So let's dive in. First, let me tell you a little bit about the conference that I was at.

So, as you probably know, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, I'm a member of the National Speakers association. I'm a very active member of our local chapter here in Minnesota, but I am also a member of the national chapter. And the national chapter has multiple large and small conferences across the year. Our biggest conference is in the middle of the summer and there is anywhere from 1000 on up speakers at that conference. And then in the winter, there is a smaller conference that has about 300 people at it that's mostly focused on building your business. And then in December, there is one very special conference that is much smaller. It only has about, oh, somewhere between 100 and 150 people. And it is the Certified Speaking Professionals or CSP summit.

And you can only go to that conference if you have the professional designation of CSP Certified Speaking Professional. Which basically means that not only have I given a lot of speeches and earned my living doing this, I've also asked my clients to provide feedback to the association on the quality of the work that I do. And my work has been peer reviewed by other speakers in basically like a blind taste test. They have watched me speak without me knowing that they were watching me speaking, or they've watched video of me to attest that I meet some very, very strict criteria. So I was at this conference that is just me and the other CSPs, and we spend an entire weekend in small groups brainstorming ideas for each other's businesses. So we all come with a business challenge or idea that we're hoping to work on or get some clarity around or get some more strategies for. And we come together in this small group setting to brainstorm. And then of course, we get to see all the rest of the folks who are there in some general sessions and receptions and networking and so forth.

So it is like being in a hotel full of unicorns. And we just get so much out of being together. And so, as I come away from the weekend thinking about how enriching this was for my business, of course, but also just for my soul, it made me feel like I needed to do an episode about why finding your people is so essential. So let's start with the basics.

Why does it even matter? Well, we humans, even the most introverted and socially anxious among us, are inherently social creatures. Again, even the introverts, we thrive when we have a sense of belonging, when we feel like we are part of a community that understands us. And this is especially true. And this is especially true if you're in a role or you have a hobby or an interest area.

That's a bit unconventional. Without a community, it can feel like you're always swimming upstream and that you are an island unto yourself. And it can be very lonely, both personally lonely or professionally lonely. So it's really important. Now, when you do find your people, you unlock several different types of benefits. The first is validation. You realize that your unique path isn't strange, it's valuable, and that there are others who are in it with you. And then the second thing that you get is a sense of support.

You gain this network of people who can empathize, who can advise, as we were doing at the CSP Summit, and encourage you, as we will continue to be doing long after that summit weekend is over. So just that sense of support and that somebody's got your back and that you can pick up the phone and ask somebody a quick question and they get you, it's just so, so tremendously valuable. And then inspiration. So seeing others who are at different points in a similar path can really push you to dream bigger and also to recognize how much you have accomplished.

So as you think about, you know, a continuum, a spectrum of accomplishment, and even at the CSP Summit, where we all have a certain baseline level of business acumen and accomplishment in our speaking business, there is still wide varieties of levels of accomplish. And so you get to be inspired by those who are ahead of you on the path. You get to be an inspiration to those who are not as far along on the path as you are. And I think you get to look at the people who are maybe not as far along on the path as you are and very honorably say, I see you, I see where you are.

And then maybe quietly to yourself you say, wow, I used to be there. And I now recognize the accomplishment of what it took to get from where they are to where I am. So it's that inspiration. And I think it works on a whole bunch of different levels. And then number four, connection. Most importantly, it fills that human need to deeply connect with other people again, the ones who get us. Now, for me, being around other speakers isn't just about sharing tips and tricks for the stage. It is really about the understanding of the unique challenges of this lifestyle.

There's travel, there's solitude, there's highs of delivering a powerful performance when it goes perfectly. And then there is the inevitable audience that you just don't connect with as much or, you know, something else goes wrong. So to share, to share both the triumphs as well as the challenges with a community of people who really get me is so, so deeply satisfying. Now, it does not necessarily come easy. There are definitely some barriers to finding your people. But so let's be honest here, finding your people, it can be tricky. So maybe you're not even sure where to start, or maybe it's going to take a while. Maybe your people aren't conveniently located or your schedule doesn't align.

In fact, I've had that. You may have also heard me talk about becoming a member of my local Chamber of commerce. And I didn't necessarily do that to get local business because quite frankly, most of my business is not local. The reason I joined my local Chamber of Commerce is to make friends with people who are also small business owners. Because even if you're not a professional speaker, there are just some common challenges of being a small business owner that I find tremendously valuable to connect in a community, even when people are in different industries than me. But with the local chamber of Commerce, my schedule has not necessarily aligned with a lot of their meetings. So I've been a member for now, I don't know, like four or five months, and I've only been able to make it to two events so that the schedule challenges are absolutely real. Now, when you do find your people though, if they meet on a regularly scheduled basis, you gotta get that in your calendar early.

So, for example, with the National Speakers Association, I have the events, those three big conferences I was talking about, one small, one sort of medium sized, and then one very large size. I go to all of them and I have them in my calendar the minute the dates come out so that I can schedule around it. Because it's not, I mean, quite frankly, it's not convenient to go. It's in a usually it's in a different city and it's costly to stay at the hotel and to get the flight and the meals and all of the things, but it's so worth it. So again, it might not be convenient, the schedules might not align, and maybe in your hyper busy life it just feels like one more thing to do. But let me challenge that. Finding your people and connecting with them regularly, it is not just a nice to have, it is absolutely essential.

And prioritizing these connections, again, it's going to require effort. It might require travel, time away from other responsibilities or time away from your family, you know, a financial commitment. But it is worth it. When you connect with other people who fill your cup, you are better equipped to pour into your own work or your hobby or your family or your community or whatever it is that when you are full up with people who get you, you are then able to contribute more to everybody around you.

Now let's talk about why this is especially important in the context of work today. Even if the thing that you want to connect other people about isn't work related at all, in a world of remote and hybrid workplaces, it is easier than ever to feel isolated. And you've heard me talk on the podcast here about loneliness, both professional loneliness as well as loneliness in the rest of your life. And again, that isolation can really get to us.

We can sometimes go days or even weeks without truly connecting with someone who really understands our passion or what we do for a living or whatever it is. So that disconnection doesn't just impact your mood, it impacts your productivity, it impacts your creativity, impacts your innovation, and it can also even have a negative impact on your health. So that's why I am linking this back to my keynote, Reconnecting in a Disconnected World.

In that Talk, I emphasize the power of intentionally seeking out in nurturing meaningful relationships. I also talk about the Surgeon General's research on loneliness and the negative impacts it has on our health. And it is so important to find those connections. Rekindling old connections or finding new connections. And whether those connections are with colleagues or mentors or a broader community, it is just absolutely so important for our mental health, our physical health, and our careers as well.

So the same principles apply here. Finding your people is part of the antidote to that loneliness epidemic that so many people, both at work and at home, are facing. Again, I can't underscore that enough. So from an organizational perspective, encouraging employees to find their communities inside and outside of work can boost engagement and retention. When people feel supported and understood, they're more likely to stay. They're more likely to thrive in their jobs and in their whole life. I mean, right now I've been back home for like five days, but I am still on a bit of a euphoric high from spending the time with my people. And this will last.

It will sustain, sustain me through the holiday season, which, I mean, don't we all need a boost of connection during the holiday season? I mean, yes, many of us are going to get that with our families, and many of us are going to get a little too much of our families. So just being able to keep alive the connection in my brain, even of the time I had with my colleagues over the weekend, is just so instrumental. So for those of you who don't already have your tribe and haven't found the people that you feel like are your people, let's talk about how you find them.

How do you go about finding them if you don't already know where they are? Well, here are a few steps to get you started. First of all, reflect on what makes you unique. Now you might say, do you know, I don't have an unusual career. I don't have any strange hobbies or interests or even struggles, but what else might you have that is similar to somebody else? And the more you can just like brainstorm and think about all the things that you like to do. Maybe you like to swim.

I like to swim. I swim laps three times a week in the morning, and I get there at the pool at 6:30 in the morning just as this group of swimmers, the masters swimmers. Now you don't have to be like an amazing swimmer to be in a masters swim club. It just means older people, not like high school or collegiate sports. It just means older people who swim. And you don't even have to be that old to join a masters swim club, but they swim from 5:30 to 6:30 in the morning. And I tell you what, those people are connected. It could also be the club that you know, the people that you work out with at your health club, maybe not swimmers, but maybe you do CrossFit or maybe you do yoga.

And maybe, you know, if you love it, if you just sort of like half heartedly do it because you know it's good for your health, that's one thing. But when you're really into it, that's what I'm talking about. So reflect on those things that you just get really fired up about and really passionate about and the things that you love, love to. And again, if they don't come readily to mind, just like keep tabs on yourself over the course of the next week or two to see what activities are you doing that really light you up. Or maybe where is there a longing, where's there a gap of you wished you had other like minded people or other people who had similar circumstances to you. And then seek out groups or events. So look for conferences, meetups, online forums even or local clubs where like minded people gather.

So maybe you're a parent of multiples, you've got twins or triplets or something like that. There's a group for that. Maybe you love mystery stories that are set in your home state. I bet you anything there's a book club for that. And if there isn't one, you can make it yourself. You can start a book club. You could start a group on just about any topic. You know, go on to next door, which is that neighborhood app that's sort of like a mashup of the map of your neighborhood and you know, like Facebook, just hyper local and make, you know, just ask who would be interested in starting a book club about where we read mystery stories set in Minnesota? I mean I bet in like 10 minutes that book club would fill. So seek out those groups or events and if you don't find them again, put yourself out there and make something up.

Now don't be afraid to reach out to other people too. So whether it's sending a LinkedIn message or joining a Facebook group, take that first step. Most people are more welcoming than you'd think. Now I will just give a quick example of when I joined the Chamber of Commerce. I reached out to the membership director and I said I think maybe I want to join, but I'm not sure because I don't know if the kind of People I'm looking for are going to be, you know, at the chamber meetings. And so she and I sat down and had coffee and I got to ask all my questions and I absolutely wanted to join after I had all my questions answered. Now, as I looked at their schedule, I told you, the schedule didn't always align. As I looked at their schedule, this was last May, and I looked at their summer schedule, and I already had speaking events every single time they had an event I would have liked to have gone to.

So I postponed joining until September, when at least a couple of events aligned for the fall season. So don't be afraid to reach out. And people really are far more welcoming than you think. And even if it's not a fit, you've reached out and you've now eliminated a group. If it didn't, you know, if you found out it just wasn't your vibe, then you have to prioritize regular connection. So once you find your people, make it a habit to connect. So whether it's an annual conference like that CSP summit that I go to, or a monthly call, and I do have a smaller group of CSPs that I meet with, with on the regular to talk about our businesses and the challenges and successes that we have in our businesses, or maybe it is, you know, an online group where you are logging in even just a couple times a week to check those message boards and chime in with your support for others and just whatever it takes to keep that relationship alive. So prioritize that regular connection.

Now, if you already know who your people are, but you haven't connected them in a while, well, then just consider this your nudge. It is time to reconnect. So here is the big takeaway. The bottom line, finding your people is not just about feeling good in the moment, like I was feeling after the CSP summit, I still am feeling, and I will be feeling far into the coming days and probably another week or two. But it's not just about that. It's about building a network of support, of inspiration and of connection that can really sustain you. The highs and lows of your work life, of your personal life, of your community life. It's about being part of something that is bigger than yourself.

And when we think about it in the context of the future of work, where roles and industries are evolving at lightning speed, finding your people isn't just a nice to have, it's essential. So whether you're a unicorn like me or you just simply have a unique perspective to share, there is a community out there waiting for you. So who are your people? If you already know, I would love to hear about them, send me a message or tag me on social media. And if you're still looking, just take one small step today. Sign up for that conference, join that forum, join that Facebook group or that group on LinkedIn, or just go out and explore what groups are there on Facebook or LinkedIn or your platform of choice. Or maybe reach out to that person that you met at a conference last year and said you were going to connect with, but you didn't. They are probably going to be delighted to hear from you. Now here's another way that you can take this message into your life in a way that in fact helps me.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with somebody who might need a nudge to find their people too. Or maybe it's somebody who is one of your people and you recognize, oh, I need to reach out to this person and maybe it feels awkward. You could use this podcast episode as a bridge. You'd share it with them and say, when I listened to this episode I thought of you and I would love to reconnect. So let's keep building connections in this incredibly disconnected world. So as always, stay curious, stay informed, and stay ahead of the curve as you find your people. Tune in next week for another episode of the Trends Shaping Our Professional World. And again, as I mentioned before, if you learned something or you simply enjoy this content or it would be a good reason to reconnect with somebody, please share this episode.

You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel, subscribe to the podcast on your podcast platform of choice and follow me on social media. These are all excellent no cost ways for you to support me and my work. You'll find links to my social media over on the Show Notes page. And this is episode 194 so janelanderson @ and this is episode 195 so janelanderson.com/195. Until next time, keep thriving, keep connecting and keep working towards the future that we all want. Stay connected, stay curious and I will catch you next week my friends. Be well.