Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Working Conversations podcast, where we talk all things leadership, business, communication, and trends in organizational life. I'm your host, Dr. Janel Anderson.

Today we're diving into a topic that you've probably encountered, but maybe didn't have a name for glossing. Have you ever sat through a team meeting where it seemed like everyone was quiet, quietly screaming?

You know, the kind of meeting where you can feel the tension in the room, but no one addresses it? Instead, your boss delivers a cheery update, glossing over the real issues that everyone knows are lurking just below the surface. It's frustrating, right?

That uneasy feeling when you know that something's wrong but it's being ignored. That's what's being called glossing. Today we're going to talk about why this fake positivity can do more harm than good, and more importantly, how you can navigate a workplace where your boss prefers to sweep things under the rug. It's all over the news lately.

Here are just a few of the headlines from the New York Post. Glossing bosses are the toxic workplace trend, ruining employee morale. From Business Insider, glossing at work is a form of toxic positivity, and your boss may be guilty of it. And from CB's news, what is workplace glossing? And how can companies prevent this toxic habit? You hear the word toxic in all three of those headlines, so let's dive in.

First off, exactly what is glossing? Well, glossing happens when leaders fail to address workplace issues and hardships, choosing instead to focus on a facade of positivity. They gloss over real concerns, avoiding the tough conversations that might stir up some discomfort.

For example, a department might be underperforming or dealing with tension between team members. And rather than addressing these issues head on, their manager comes into the team meeting with a smile and talks about how we're doing great and maybe even throws in a motivational quote or two.

In the moment, this can feel very disorienting. Employees are left wondering, are we just supposed to pretend everything's fine? Well, that's the essence of glossing. It creates this disconnection between reality and the way a leader is messaging things. And it sends the unspoken message that tough topics are off limits.

So here's another example. Something like this, very similar to this, happened to someone I know pretty well. So let's say the company is going through a rough patch. Maybe layoffs are happening or business targets aren't being met. And in her case, it was layoffs. Instead of acknowledging the anxiety that everyone's feeling, the leader focuses solely on keeping things positive. And while a little positivity isn't a bad thing, when it becomes a way to avoid acknowledging real problems and real issues, especially issues like layoffs that the people who are in the room were concerned with, well, employees start to feel that their concerns are invalid or irrelevant.

Now, I want to be clear. Glossing is not always intentional. Some leaders might genuinely think that they're doing their team a favor by staying upbeat. But in reality, avoiding legitimate, real issues creates an environment where problems fester and negative emotions get suppressed and people don't feel like they can trust their boss.

So why does this matter? Well, I guess I was already hinting at some of these things. But let's explore the actual impact of glossing, and let's look two different ways. Let's first talk about why glossing is a problem for employees, and then let's also flip the coin and look at the management side of things.

So when leaders gloss over real concerns, employees are left feeling unheard and unvalued. Think about it. If your boss doesn't acknowledge the real issues happening at work, it can feel like your struggles or frustrations aren't legitimate or don't matter. And this often leads to disengagement. People start to mentally check out because they just don't feel heard.Why put in the effort to share your ideas or raise your concerns when you know they're just going to get, again, glossed over?

Now, another major problem is that glossing encourages employees to suppress their own negative emotions. Because if their boss is doing it and nothing, talking about the tough stuff, then it kind of feels like you as an employee aren't supposed to talk about the tough stuff as well. Like you might feel angry about a decision that was made, or you might be feeling a little bit of anxiety about an upcoming change or challenge that's happening in the workplace. But since no one's talking about it, you don't feel like you can talk about it either, and you push those feelings down.

This emotional suppression can lead to higher stress levels. It can lead to burnout and even physical health issues over time. Because as we've talked about on this podcast, there is a distinct link between what's going on in our mental health and what's going on in our physical health. So when employees feel like they can't express themselves openly, it creates a sense of isolation and of repressing issues that you need some support with.

And you're left thinking, maybe it's just me who's bothered by this, which only adds to the disconnect and the discontent, because you feel like maybe you really are the only one and you start to question your own sanity sometimes. Okay, so that's how it impacts employees.

But let's look at the other side of the coin and talk about why glossing is a problem for managers and leaders. Now, at first glance, it might seem that glossing is just an employee problem and an employee perception problem, but it really does affect the whole organization, including leadership.

When managers avoid tough conversations, they lose credibility, because, as you've probably heard me say here on this podcast, or in one of my training sessions, when a manager isn't dealing with a difficult, difficult situation, do you know who knows about it? Every other employee who reports to that manager. And if it's something that's impacting the whole team, the whole team knows about it. So when managers avoid those tough conversations, they lose credibility. Employees see right through the forced positivity and it becomes harder to trust the leader's judgment and the leader's messaging about anything.

And once that trust is eroded, it is really difficult to regain. And again, for those of you who are working in the hybrid or the work from home remote environment, and if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you've heard me talk about how hard it is to regain trust, because trust gets rebuilt in these tiny micro moments where we're acknowledging each other and agreeing with each other and so forth. And it's so much harder to do that when we're working over teams or Zoom or any other screen mediated technology.

Again, once that trust is eroded, it is really difficult to rebuild, even if you're in the office together now. Additionally, when issues get glossed over, they don't just disappear. We all kind of wish if we could stick our head in the sand, the issue would go away. But they don't. In fact, they grow.

Problems that could have been addressed early on end up becoming larger challenges. They kind of snowball and become bigger than what they were. Had you addressed it when it was a little thing. So by not addressing these littler issues, leaders inadvertently make it harder for their teams to be productive, creative, innovative, and trusting. So employees might just stop offering new ideas or stop offering feedback because they feel like their input isn't going to make a difference anyway.

And over time, this leads to a toxic work culture where avoidance becomes the norm. Just sweeping every little thing under the rug becomes the status quo, and that's just not good for anybody. And then we also have to look at the broader organizational impact, because it's not just what that manager is doing with their team.

If glossing is acceptable in the workplace, well, then organizations are likely to experience higher turnover, because a workplace where glossing is common just is not one that's going to keep people around. People leave because they feel disconnected from leadership. They feel like they're not heard, and they feel like they're tired of pretending everything's fine when it's really not. And just that lack of authenticity and that lack of discussing tough issues makes people just don't want to be around.

And as you know, replacing good employees is expensive, not just in terms of time and money, but also in terms of team morale. Because, you know, who leaves first, the best and the brightest amongst the team. It's never your slacker or your underproductive people who leave first. The first ones to go are the ones who are working the hardest.

So if you're experiencing glossing in the workplace, what can you do about it? Well, let's talk about that next. So, if you've got a manager who glosses over real problems, well, I'm the first to tell you that can be tricky space to navigate, but I have a few strategies that you can try.

The first one is, even if the manager is glossing over the issue, you don't have to. So first acknowledge the issue, both to yourself and with the team. Sometimes just recognizing that glossing is happening can help you put things back into perspective. You might realize that you're not the only one feeling frustrated or anxious or disengaged. Understanding that glossing can be part of somebody's leadership style, whether intentional or unintentional, though not an effective one, for sure. Just simply understanding that that's part of somebody's leadership can help you depersonalize the situation and avoid feeling like it's a reflection of your performance or your value or who you are as human.

Just recognizing that this is my boss doing the glossing, and it's about my boss, it's not really about me. So, first, again, acknowledge it to yourself. And then what I mean by acknowledging it with the team is, you know, if you have a trusted colleague on the team, like, literally pull them aside and say, hey, does it seem like our boss is avoiding having some tough conversations? This is in part, and this is not like to spread rumors or get things, you know, churning things up. But this is really for you to do a reality check and make sure you're not blowing something out of proportion, because that happens to the best of us. So you want to acknowledge the issue with a trusted colleague first, just to make sure that you're on point.

Then next, if you feel comfortable, take the initiative to actually address the problem. And I know that this can be uncomfortable, but sometimes when leaders are glossing over issues, it's because they aren't fully aware of them or they don't realize how much it's impacting the team. So one way that you can bring this up is to frame your concerns constructively.

So, for example, instead of saying something like, you never address real problems, and you're always just glossing over things, trying to make things seem rosy. Well, don't try that. Instead, you could try something like, hey, I noticed our team has been addressing some really tough challenges lately, and I'd like to talk about how we can work through them. So what this does is it opens the door for dialogue without putting your boss on the defensive. Because the last thing you want is for your boss to be on the defensive as you're having this conversation, you just want to open up the space with positive intent and curiosity.

Again, it might just be that your boss is oblivious to the fact that they're doing this or they're just too busy to notice because that happens as well. Now, if that doesn't feel like something's now, if that doesn't feel like something that's available to you, another option is just to simply focus on what's within your own control. So sometimes, no matter how much you try to steer the conversation towards real issues, your boss might continue to gloss over them.

In that case, focus on managing your own emotions, your own stress, your own emotional and mental health. Make sure that you're setting healthy boundaries for yourself and enforcing those healthy boundaries for yourself. Make sure you're taking breaks and make sure that you are seeking support from peers or mentors or coaches or friends, even if they're outside your organization and certainly outside your direct leadership.

So building relationships with coworkers and then having that support system outside of work can also really help you navigate those situations. And when you have that support system inside the workplace as well, it can create a culture of transparency within your team, even if the manager isn't modeling it.

Now, finally, know when it's time to move on. If glossing is a persistent issue in your workplace and it's really taking a toll on your well being and it's creating that toxic culture that all those headlines were mentioning, well, then it might actually be time to start looking for other opportunities. You absolutely deserve to work in an environment where you feel heard and valued, whether that's taking a lateral move inside your organization to a different team that has a better culture, or whether that's looking outside the organization.

Once you've done everything that you can, if it's really having an impact and taking a toll on your mental and physical health, then again, unfortunately, it might be time to move on.

Now, let's talk for a few more moments about glossing. And this time, let's focus on managers who tend to gloss over the problems and what you can do about it if you're recognizing yourself in some of this conversation. Let me give you a few tips for managers who tend to gloss over problems, whether that's intentionally or not intentionally.

So say you're a manager, you're listening to this episode, and you're realizing, oh, my goodness, that sounds like me. I have a tendency to gloss things over. Now, you might think that you're protecting your team from stress, or maybe you're trying to keep things light in difficult or tough times.

But as we've discussed, glossing can lead to more harm than good in the long run. So what can you do to avoid glossing and be more transparent and effective as a leader? Well, here are a few tips.

Number one, acknowledge the elephant in the room. This first step is simple but powerful. Acknowledge when there's a problem. Now, as the manager, you don't have to have the answers. And I think that's what sometimes holds managers back from bringing up problems. Sometimes problems are complex and sticky and complicated, and you don't have the solution right away.

And that might make you more inclined to not bring it up. So, but I want to encourage you. Bring it up. Acknowledge when there is that problem. Even if you don't have all the answers, it's important to recognize that an issue exists. Something as simple as, like, hey, I know this situation is difficult, or this is going to take some time for us, our team, to work through this. And I don't have a quick fix right now. In fact, this isn't even an issue that would ever have a quick fix. But let's work together and address it, and let's just have an open and transparent conversation about it. Something like that can go a long way towards building trust.

Now, the second thing is to create space for open dialogue. So make it clear to your team that it's okay to discuss frustrations and challenges. Encourage open feedback by asking questions like, hey, what's been on everybody's mind? Or what obstacles are we facing that we just haven't talked about yet? When you ask those kinds of questions, and in fact are receptive to the answers, which you must be in order for this to work, then that will create a safe space for these kinds of conversations, and it will prevent problems from being swept under the rug. It will demonstrate to your staff that you're open to having those tough conversations and talking about the sticky issues.

Now, third, balance out positivity with realism. I am the first to endorse being optimistic and positive. Positivity is absolutely important, but it has to be grounded in reality. So don't ignore the hard stuff. Acknowledge the challenges and maintain an optimistic outlook about overcoming them, not about the circumstances. The circumstances can be hard, but you can still paint a positive picture by being optimistic about how you're going to work through the challenges.

Now, I mean, that's not always the case. If, let's say, layoffs are inevitable, we don't necessarily want to be super positive about layoffs, especially if some of those layoffs are going to impact people who report to you directly. In those cases, we want to just be frank about it. And if you don't know, you don't know. Or if it hasn't been announced yet, it hasn't been announced yet. But just to let your team know, even if something tough like layoffs happen, we'll work together through it, and we'll all do my best to support you and the team through everything. So it really is about finding the right balance. Yes, things are tough right now, but I believe that we can get through it if we focus on X, Y and zenith. So, balancing positivity with realism is so important.

And number four, follow through on concerns. When issues are brought up, you need to follow through on them. So whether it's addressing team dynamics project setbacks, personal concerns, or, you know, those big topics that scare people, like layoffs and so forth, make sure you're taking action to resolve the issues, or at least to give updates.

And again, you may have heard me say this in the past, give updates even when there are no updates, when it's a situation that create causes a lot of ambiguity or uncertainty amongst your staff, because they need to know that you don't have any new information. Otherwise they're going to presume you do have new information and you're just not sharing it with them. So when you can follow through on with their concerns. Even if it's to say you don't have any new updates. This will reinforce that you're not just listening, but you're actively working towards solutions. Or at least you're continuing to investigate and look for solutions. So remember, as a leader, your team is looking to you for guidance. But that doesn't mean you have to have all the answers. What matters most is creating a culture of openness, transparency, and above all, trust.

Okay, so let's recap. Today, we've talked about glossing. We talked about what it is, why it's a problem, and what you can do about it. If your boss is guilty of glossing over real issues, or if you're the boss and you've been glossing over real issues, you've got some tips and strategies to follow so that you can get things out in the open with your team and create more of an authentic and transparent and trusting relationship. So glossing might seem like a simple case of a manager trying to keep things positive, but in reality, it can lead to a lot of frustration, disengagement, and emotional strain. So leaders who gloss over problems aren't just hurting their teams, they're setting the organization up for bigger challenges down the road because people are going to leave. And as we heard in all those headlines, it's creating a toxic work environment.

The good news is, however, by addressing glossing head on and stopping glossing, you can bring more honesty and authenticity into your workplace, whether you are an employee or a manager. After all, the most productive work happens in environments where people feel heard and valued, not where problems are being swept under the rug.

Okay, my friends, remember that the future of work is not only about technology. It's about the values we uphold, the conversations we have, the communities we build, and the sustainable growth we all strive for.

We need to keep exploring, keep innovating, and keep envisioning the remarkable possibilities that lie ahead. So that's it for today's episode. If you found this helpful, don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with your colleagues. I'll be back next week with another topic on the future of work.

And until then, stay curious, stay compassionate, and don't be afraid to ask tough questions. Until next time, my friends. Be well.