Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Working Conversations podcast, where we talk all things leadership, business, communication, and trends in organizational life. I'm your host, Dr. Janel Anderson.

Imagine you're in the break room at work, grabbing a quick cup of coffee. Or maybe you log in early to a teams meeting and a colleague starts lamenting their endless to do list. “Oh, I've been so swamped, I didn't even have time for lunch yesterday,” they say with a smug look of satisfaction, as if their stress is a trophy.

At first, you might empathize, maybe even admire their hustle. But after a while, doesn't that bragging about busyness start to wear on you? In today's fast paced world, it's easy to fall into the trap of glorifying your stress. But what if I told you that being the busy person at work could be damaging, not just to your relationships, but to your career? It's a trap we fall into so easily.

Even outside of work, you run into someone you haven't seen in a while, and the inevitable how have you been? Question comes up. Busy, we say. So busy. At its core, this response makes us feel validated. It makes us feel important. If we're bringing value and people need us, our coworkers, our boss, our customers, then we are valuable and we are important. Some people wear that stress as a badge of honor, that busyness. They're taking one for the team, and they can't wait to tell you about it.

Well, stress bragging, or busy bragging, as it's sometimes known, is a pervasive behavior in many workplaces, and it's often again viewed as that badge of honor to be perpetually stressed and overworked. However, this can backfire in terms of both relationships at work and career growth.

This episode will delve into why sharing your stress and busyness may seem like a way to signal your importance, but it ultimately can damage trust, limit collaboration, and pigeonhole you into roles that undermine long term career progression.

This stress bragging, or busy bragging has a serious downside. So says new research from the University of Georgia Terry College of Business. The authors of the study found that people who brag about their stress levels are seen as less competent and less likable by their coworkers. This is a behavior we've all seen, and we all might be guilty of it at some point, says Jessica Rodell, lead author of the study and a professor of management.

She says, when I was wondering about why people do this, I thought, maybe we're talking about stress because we want to prove that we're good enough. But we found out that it often backfires. End quote. Here's how the research team went about their research. They had 360 participants who compared statements from imaginary coworkers, one who just returned from a conference. Here's how they went about their research. They had 360 participants in the study, and in those 360 participants, they compared statements from imaginary co workers who had just returned from a conference. Participants rated their imaginary co worker on likability, competence, and likelihood that they would ask help.

Here's how they went about the research. They had 360 participants in the study. Those participants compared statements from imaginary coworkers who had just returned from a conference. Participants rated their imaginary co worker on the likability, competence, and the likelihood that they would help the co worker at work. The stress bragging colleague described the conference this way. Just one more thing on my full plate, and I was already stressed to the max before I went to this conference. You have no idea the stress that I'm under now compared to their non stress bragging colleague who said something along the lines of what a great time they had at the conference and how much they learned. The stress braggers were rated as significantly less likable and less competent than their more upbeat counterparts, and they did not want to help them, the lead author of the study said, people are harming themselves by doing this thing that they think is going to make them look better to their colleagues.

End quote. After those 360 initial participants compared the statements from the imaginary colleague who was stressed and the imaginary colleague who wasn't. Then they went on to collect real world data, and they found similar results when they surveyed an additional 218 employees about their experiences with the stress braggarts. What's astonishing about the study is that the researchers also found employees with coworkers who stress brag well, they often reported higher levels of personal stress and burnout themselves as the listeners. It's like secondhand stress, like secondhand smoke. Being around people who complain about how stressed they are make the rest of us even more stressed. And of course, it's also doing no favors to the stress braggart's careers. Again, they're wealth.

Again, they are less well liked and perceived as less competent. So let's dig into this idea of stress bragging, or busy bragging a bit more and talk about why it happens and what to do instead.

First, the dangerous allure of stress bragging. Why we stress brag well, stress bragging stems from a cultural narrative that equates busyness with value. It's easy to feel that being overworked means you're important or irreplaceable. This can be reinforced by the workplace culture that rewards long hours and relentless hustle. For some, it may be a way to avoid being vulnerable at work. Instead of admitting that you need help or you dont have all the answers, sometimes workers will use busyness as a shield to protect their image or protect their competence.

Now lets look at the impact this has on relationships. At first, stress bragging might seem like a way to bond with colleagues or a signal that youre a hard worker. But over time, this behavior can erode trust and empathy in professional relationships. And here's why.

First of all, it creates distance. Constantly sharing how overworked you are can come across as dismissive of other people's efforts, or worse, as a way of elevating your importance at the expense of others on your team. It's like saying my work is more important than your work, and this can alienate colleagues and lead to resentment.

Second, it limits collaboration. Stress bragging sends a message that you're overwhelmed and you're overextended, which can make people hesitant to approach you for collaboration or even getting some well needed support. If they believe that you're already drowning in your own tasks, they'll look for help elsewhere, leading you to miss out on key opportunities for professional growth.

And finally, it also decreases empathy. While occasional venting about stress is of course, normal, consistently bragging about your busyness reduces the space for genuine empathy between colleagues. If you're always the person who is so busy, you're not likely to be giving any empathy to anybody else. So it can also make others feel like their workloads or challenges don't measure up to yours, leading to feelings of inadequacy or being undervalued.

So again, three ways that it impacts relationships it creates distance, it limits collaboration, and it decreases empathy. Now let's look at how it might actually hurt your career, not just your relationship.

Now, ironically, while many people stress brag to appear more valuable, the long term effects on your career can actually be detrimental. And there are a few reasons why. First of all, you get pigeonholed. If you're constantly portraying yourself as being busy, it could signal to managers that you're overwhelmed and not in control of your workload. This could result in fewer promotions or new opportunities because your leaders and managers might just assume you're already maxed out you also might get stuck with repetitive tasks that really do keep you busy rather than strategic projects that would help you advance so you get pigeonholed as somebody who can't handle anymore.

Secondly, it limits your growth potential. Busy bragging highlights the quantity of work, not the quality of work. In most organizations, what really counts for advancement is not how many hours you work, but the impact and the strategic value that you bring. When you're focused on showcasing how swamped you are, you are not showcasing your ability to prioritize, delegate or work smarter.

And finally, there is a burnout trap associated with busy bragging. By constantly identifying as the stressed, overworked employee, you set yourself up for burnout over time. This chronic stress can actually lead to real mental health issues even if you didnt already have them. It also leads to decreased productivity and even physical illness, putting your career on hold or causing you to crash out of the workforce or just not do your best work altogether.

So if it isn’t clear enough already, let’s talk about why you should let go of busy bragging. So as tempting as it might be to showcase to others how busy you are, it really is essential to rethink this habit. Shifting from stress bragging to a more balanced, grounded approach can improve your workplace relationships and make you a more effective and well respected colleague.

So here are a few steps to consider. First of all, shift the narrative. Instead of focusing on how much you have to do, emphasize what you've accomplished or what solutions you're working toward. For example, instead of saying I'm drowning in my emails, say something more like I've developed a new system for managing my inbox more efficiently and I'm experimenting with it. And specifically, what I do instead of saying I'm busy or I'm stressed is I like to frame it without the drama. I will often say something like I filled my plate to the maximum and I'm loving every minute of it. I don't say busy and I don't say stressed. These words are taboo for me.

I have all but eliminated them from my vocabulary. And even with my closest of colleagues, I will say something like I've over committed and I'm paying the price, but I've got a plan. I'm always going to put an upbeat spin on it. I don't ever want anybody to think that they should feel sorry for me. Sometimes I want to let them know we're in it together because a lot of times we are in it together. But I'm not ever going to say stressed or busy.

So a second thing that you can do is you can invite collaboration. So being vulnerable and admitting when you need help can actually foster deeper, more respectful relationships with your colleagues. People are more likely to engage with you and collaborate with you and trust you if they know when you're there to support them and that you've got some capacity. You're not just caught up in your own busyness.

A third reason you should let go of this busyness story is that when you can show balance, it makes a difference. So being visibly balanced in your work life approach can set a powerful example for others, your coworkers, for those of you who are managers or supervisors, those who report to you, and even upward in the organization. When you can handle a full plate and a lot of responsibility and still show that you've got some decorum of management around all of that, then it sets you apart. So this doesn't mean slacking off, but it does mean demonstrating healthy boundaries and effective time management. Leaders and your peers are going to respect you if you can work smart rather than just hard.

And finally, focus on the quality, not just the quantity of work. So highlight the impact that you're making, not just the number of tasks on your to do list. Talk about the outcomes that you've achieved, the difference that you've made for your customers or your coworkers or your boss, how you're driving value or how you're contributing strategically. This not only benefits your personal brand, but it also shifts the focus to what really matters in your career and what you want to be known for in the organization.

Nobody wants to be just known for being busy or being stressed. That is not a personal brand you want to strive for. Now, before we leave this topic entirely, I do want to give a dose of reality. It is true that most of us do have a lot on our plates, and sometimes it is more than we can manage now to the right person, say for example, your best friend, your spouse, maybe even your manager. Depending on your relationship with your manager, you may acknowledge having too much on your plate and seeking support from them, either practical strategies to manage their work or just social support because you're maxed out.

That is qualitatively different from what we're talking about here. That is not busy bragging, that is not stress bragging. That is you being authentic and getting the practical support that you need from the people who are closest to you. So I do want to encourage you to keep doing that. I also want to encourage you to be extra discerning about who your audience is. What language are you using. That is, what are the specific words that you're using? And I certainly hope it's not stressed and busy, especially when it's to your coworkers and to what end you're doing it for. So who is your audience? What language are you using and to what end are you talking about the nature of your work? Now, busy bragging might feel like a natural part of navigating today's fast paced work environment, but it's a trap, my friends.

It is a trap. It can damage your relationships at work. It can limit your career options and lead to burnout. Instead, focus on building authentic connections, sharing your successes, and sharing your strategies for managing a tough workload in a way that fosters trust, collaboration, and long term growth. So the next time you're tempted to share just how busy you are, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself what you're really trying to communicate. Instead of boasting about your stress, let your impact and your results do the talking.

Remember, the future of work is not only about technology, it's about the values we uphold, the communities we build, and the sustainable growth we all strive for. We need to keep exploring, keep innovating, and keep envisioning the remarkable possibilities that lie ahead. As always, stay curious, stay informed, and stay ahead of the curve.

Tune in next week for another insightful exploration of the trends shaping our professional world. If you learned something on this podcast or you simply enjoy the content, please subscribe to my channel on YouTube, subscribe to the podcast on your podcast platform of choice, and follow me on social media. These are all excellent, no cost ways for you to support me and my work over on YouTube.

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